Recently, I was reading a newsletter from a female inmate sharing a very humbling testimony, not of her salvation, but of her learning to be broken. She is a believer, but a Bible study leader had confronted her with some areas of pride. She was shocked! “Look at what a shambles my life is in. How can I be full of pride?” was basically her response. She mentioned a few things from a Nancy Leigh DeMoss book on brokenness, so I decided I needed to get this book, because I recognized some of the same thoughts in myself. (Horrors!) I want to give you a contrasting list. It was very sobering for me and hit the nail square on the head.
| Proud Person: | Broken Person: |
|---|---|
| 1. Proud people focus on the failures of others and can readily point out those faults. | 1. Broken people are more conscious of their own spiritual need than of anyone else’s. |
| 2. Proud people have a critical, faultfinding spirit. They look at everyone else’s faults with a microscope but view their own with a telescope. | 2. Broken people are compassionate – they have the kind of love that overlooks a multitude of sins; they can forgive much because they know how much they have been forgiven. |
| 3. Proud people are especially prone to criticize those in positions of authority– their pastor, their boss, their husband, their parents – and they talk about the faults they see. | 3. Broken people revere, encourage, and lift up those that God has placed in positions of authority, and they talk to God in intercession, rather than gossiping about the faults they see in others. |
| 4. Proud people are self-righteous; they think highly of themselves and look down on others. | 4. Broken people think the best of others; they esteem others as better than themselves. |
| 5. Proud people have an independent, self- sufficient spirit. | 5. Broken people have a dependent spirit; they recognize their need for God and for others. |
| 6. Proud people have to prove that they are right- they have to get the last word. | 6. Broken people are willing to yield the right to be right. |
| 7. Proud people claim rights and have a demanding sprit. | 7. Broken people yield their rights and have a meek spirit. |
| 8. Proud people are self-protective of their time, their rights, and their reputation. | 8. Broken people are self-denying and self- sacrificing. |
| 9. Proud people desire to be served- they want life to revolve around them and their own needs. | 9. Broken people are motivated to serve others and to be sure others’ needs are met before their own. |
| 10. Proud people desire to be known as a success. | 10. Broken people are motivated to be faithful and to make others successful. |
| 11. Proud people have a feeling- conscious or subconscious- that “this ministry (or this organization) is privileged to have me and my gifts.” They focus on what they can do for God. | 11. Broken people have a heart attitude that says, “I don’t deserve to have any part in this ministry”; they know that they have nothing to offer God except the life of Jesus flowing through their broken lives. |
| 12. Proud people crave self-advancement. | 12. Broken people desire to promote others. |
| 13. Proud people have a drive to be recognized and appreciated for their efforts. | 13. Broken people have a sense of their own unworthiness; they are thrilled that God would use them at all. |
| 14. Proud people get wounded when others are promoted, and they are overlooked. | 14. Broken people are eager for others to get the credit, and they rejoice when others are lifted up. |
| 15. Proud people are elated by praise and deflated by criticism. | 15. Broken people know that any praise of their accomplishments belongs to the Lord and that criticism can help them grow into spiritual maturity. |
| 16. Proud people feel confident in how much they know. | 16. Broken people are humbled by how very much they have to learn. |
| 17. Proud people are self-conscious; they worry about what others think of them. | 17. Broken people are not preoccupied with what others think of them. |
| 18. Proud people are concerned about appearing respectable; they are driven to protect their image and reputation. | 18. Broken people are concerned with being real; they care less about what others think than about what God knows – they are willing to die to their own reputation. |
| 19. Proud people can’t bear to fail or for anyone to think they are less than perfect. This can drive them to extremes- workaholic tendencies, perfectionism, the tendency to drive others or to place unrealistic expectations on themselves or others. | 19. Broken people can recognize and live within God-given limitations. |
| 20. Proud people keep others at arm’s length. | 20. Broken people are willing to take the risks of getting close to others and loving intimately. |
| 21. Proud people are quick to blame others. | 21. Broken people accept personal responsibility and can acknowledge where they are wrong in a situation. |
| 22. Proud people wait for others to come and ask forgiveness when there is a misunderstanding or a breach in a relationship. | 22. Broken people take the initiative to be reconciled, no matter how wrong the other party may have been. |
| 23. Proud people are unapproachable or defensive when corrected. | 23. Broken people receive correction with a humble, open spirit. |
| 24. Proud people find it difficult to discuss their spiritual needs with others. | 24. Broken people are willing to be open and transparent with others as God directs. |
| 25. Proud people try to control the people and the circumstances around them- they are prone to manipulate. | 25. Broken people trust in God- they rest in Him and are able to wait for Him to act on their behalf. |
| 26. Proud people become bitter and resentful when they are wronged; they have emotional temper tantrums; they hold others hostage and are easily offended; they carry grudges and keep a record of others’ wrongs. | 26. Broken people give thanks in all things; they are quick to forgive those who wrong them. |
| 27. Proud people want to be sure that no one finds out when they have sinned; their instinct is to cover up. | 27. Broken people aren’t overly concerned with who knows or who finds out about their sin- they are willing to be exposed because they have nothing to lose. |
| 28. Proud people have a hard time saying, “I was wrong, will you please forgive me?” | 28. Broken people are quick to admit their failure and to seek forgiveness when necessary. |
| 29. Proud people tend to deal in generalities when confessing their sin to God (“Dear Lord, please forgive me for all my sins…”) or expressing spiritual need to others (“I need to be a better Christian…”) | 29. Broken people are able to acknowledge specifics when confessing their sin: “Lord, I agree with You that I love myself more than I love my mate; I confess that I am addicted to television; I’m a glutton; I have a critical spirit; I am an angry mother….” |
| 30. Proud people are concerned about the consequences of their sin. They are disturbed over the problems caused by their sin- for example, the financial bondage created by their overspending, or the problems in their marriage that have resulted from selfishness and immoral choices. | 30. Broken people are grieved over the cause, the root of their sin. They are more concerned about how their sin has grieved God than about the problems it has created in their lives. |
| 31. Proud people are remorseful over their sin- sorry that they got caught or found out. | 31. Broken people are truly repentant over their sin, and the evidence of their repentance is that they forsake the sin. |
| 32. Proud people are blind to the true condition of their hearts. | 32. Broken people walk in the light and acknowledge the truth about their lives. |
| 33. Proud people compare themselves with others and feel worthy of respect. | 33. Broken people compare themselves with the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy. |
| 34. Proud people don’t think they need to repent of anything. | 34. Broken people realize that they need to maintain a continual heart attitude of repentance. |
| 35. Proud people don’t think they need revival, but they are sure everyone else does. (In fact, right about now, they are making a mental list of the people they think need to read this book!). | 35. Broken people continually sense their need for a fresh encounter with God and for a fresh filling of His Holy Spirit. |
Gulp!! I’m on the wrong list far too many times. Some of those are particularly painful for me. Knowing is the first step to making changes, and I am thankful to God that He is willing to make me what I am not.
Isaiah 57:15 (ESV)
For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.”
(DeMoss, Nancy Leigh. Brokenness; Surrender; Holiness: a Revive Our Hearts Trilogy. Moody Press, 2008.)