My Cave on the Beach

My Cave on the Beach

Our church has a prayer ministry called “Renew” that I have found helpful when I am hurting. In a recent Renew session, as I was praying with a friend, an image of a cave on a beach came to mind. This cave was dark and stuffed full of events that had brought me pain and disappointment. I could not keep all the pain in the cave, and so it was overflowing on to the beach and into my daily life. Though I quickly knew I needed to let God into the cave, there were parts of me that were unwilling to hear his truth or let him in. They had been deeply hurt and were afraid to trust. No matter how hard I tried, these parts would just not listen to God! I asked God to take these obstinate parts away, but instead, He gave this answer: “I have made these broken parts of you. I have made the cave. I have even made all of the things in your cave.”

When I finally was willing to let God into all of those painful memories, I asked him to take my thesis and thesis defense- a place full of pain, a large object taking up much space in the cave. I so desperately wanted God to throw it away! But instead, when he took hold of it, it shrunk to a smaller size and he put it back in the cave! When God entered the cave, he put up lights and installed cupboards for all of things in the cave. The cave was no longer overflowing, but had plenty of space. He even took me on a tour, “We are now entering the _____wing of the cave, where we can see God’s faithfulness in this trial.”

What did I learn from this visual?
1. God has made me fearfully and wonderfully. He has chosen exactly how I am broken by sin, and chosen it for His glory and my delight in seeing his faithfulness. This brings Psalm 139 into a whole new light.
2. Parts of me will remain broken until eternity. I so desperately wanted God to fix me, but instead he gave me contentment with my brokenness.
3. God has chosen each and every painful event in my life. They aren’t mistakes. He is transforming every single one of them into a precious treasure that we can rejoice over for eternity.
4. God has always been in the cave. Those obstinate parts of me didn’t want to see it, but God had always been there.
5. God sometimes chooses to open a cupboard and pull out a painful spot so he can scrape away some scar tissue or polish it up–even the season of grief I am in now is perfectly timed by him!

God also showed me that the beach was full of caves. Every one of us has hurt inside. Sometimes it seems like it is overflowing and we can’t control it. Sometimes we are unwilling to let God into the mess. But God IS there even if we refuse to see him. And he WILL win–He WILL make us new and redeem all of the pain in our life.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” – Psalm 139:14

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