Sometimes I marvel at the way life plays out. I can be so happy and so sad in such a short span of time. The end of last week was one of those moments when the strangeness of it all hit me.
A friend and former coworker’s mother passed away Monday (Oct 30th). That was the same day that Moriah returned to El Salvador and of the New York City terrorist attack with the truck. I was still in post-recovery mode from Tabitha’s wedding, so my brain felt numb. Thursday night was the visitation and I was struggling. I sobbed at my desk at work. Colton’s mom’s cancer had given me motivation to study the subject and I wanted to help her if possible. Colton was very close to his mom and her loss is ushering pain and grief into his world that he has never known. My heart aches. So many of us know what that is all about and never want anyone to have to experience it. While waiting at the visitation, I had a really good conversation with another coworker regarding a family member who has strange symptoms that could be the early stages of cancer. I think it was a God-ordained situation as I rarely have time to talk with this person and not about deeper subjects. It was a weird mix of hope and sadness.
Friday was still pretty rough. I reread the information I had passed on to Colton to help his mom way back in February. The email was written the day after Lan Lund had died and I know I was feeling her loss and wanting to spare Colton’s family the awful outcome. Now I was forwarding it on to another in hopes of helping his family. Towards the end of the day, there was a raffle for a fundraiser that was held at work. I don’t win things, so I didn’t go to the drawing. I wasn’t in the mood and just didn’t care.
When it was over, people started coming by my desk saying, “You won! Lucky you!” What?? What did I win? An iPad! I thought they were joking until they handed it to me. I was shocked! What a lovely gift! And yet, at the same time, I couldn’t find it in me to feel as happy as I probably should’ve been. Again, I felt the weird mix of happy and sad.
It got me thinking about how life has highs and lows and sometimes they happen all at the same time.
“Layers” of life mix in strange ways and it’s hard to process. The verses that came to mind were:
Hebrews 6:17-20 – “So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.”
I was longing for an anchor for my soul… to keep it steady.
Psalm 94:19 – “When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 – “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, 17comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.”
Psalm 42:11 – “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”
2 Samuel 22:47 – “The Lord lives, and blessed be my rock, and exalted be my God, the rock of my salvation…”
Which verses do you turn to when life is “all kinds of crazy”? Make a list or a verse pack and keep it
handy. You need an anchor for your soul and a Rock to stand on when the storms of life hit hard.